The fog in my head is lifting as my mind sifts through past experiences, pondering the new book I am writing, the book I will call Epiphany. Ah yes, it is becoming clear that I believed in a certain kind of romantic love —the fairy tale of “happily ever after” where there can be only “that one true love” for one to find. Here is a ditty I just wrote that expressed “Love Like This.”
Tis Prince Charming I’m pining for
I’ve read and heard and I believe
In love that lasts forever more
Will never quarrel and never leave.
He rides his white horse passing by
But he has Cinderella’s shoe.
My foot is bare , I hold it high
And wait to love and say “I do.”
“Lonely,” cries my deepest heart
Two hearts in love will beat as one
Entangled love wont pull apart
Passion fresh as when begun
He comes at last to end the wait
Our love inscribed across the stars
I run to greet my sweet soul-mate
But I’m from Venice, he’s from Mars
Perhaps the mistake of “soulmate love” is when a person, feeling like he/she is missing a piece, looks for another to feel complete. In this fantasy love, the weaker sex falls into strong arms, is protected and lives happily ever after. Right? Together they almost make one person!
Did you believe in “love like this”? So what happens when the believer risks everything to follow that dream? Please comment!
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It came to me in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep, stumbling over virtual roadblocks in my mind as I pondered what my next blog might be, alert for the “just right name” for my next book about Oregon’s children, should such a name (all lit up in neon, shining out of the murk) miraculously appear. I had just blogged about being lost. I had quoted the poet Yusef Komunyakaa writing about this miracle—when all seemed lost:
“I knew life
Began where I stood in the dark,
Looking out into the light.”
I remembered another time when I went seeking an answer. It was twilight in Oregon’s back-country where I had almost lost myself, when up ahead, standing in a shaft of last light, stood a magnificent elk, and his name was —Epiphany!
What a pretty name for my new novel; the very idea of such a portal, such a magic door thrills me! This flash of insight, manifests the theme upon which I will hang my story!
I invite you to join me on this journey, join me as, chapter by chapter, I follow my fairy tale to a dead end; agonize and laugh through my emancipation from a dream turned nightmare. Such is the way of an epiphany—like stages of a rocket, what is useless falls away, and we blast forward into the light…but there is that “in between time” when we all must endure being lost in the darkness of night.
So, let’s begin. I’ll start with a poem I dreamed up just now. Please make up your own verse!
Like a glim in foggy-bottom bogs
Like a light thru crystalline
Like fire sparked by ember logs
Like a vine sprung from a bean
Like poppies cover’n killing fields
Ah sweet epiphany
That darkness, lies, wrong-doing yields
When spirit shines through me
Come spirit shine through me.